MOTHER FELL and broke her hip. I asked my lying sister-in-law how it happened.
— (bitchy) She fell because of those slippery socks you gave her.
— (skeptical) Hmm.
Later, again on the phone:
— Mother, did you fall because of those socks I gave you ?
— No. I tripped over that stupid dog.
The dog in question: little, white bulldog.
A couple of weeks later, I visit my recuperating mother. Everyone is in the living room when Mother warily creeps around the edge of the room.
— Mother. What are you doing ?
— That dog is trying to kill me !